It made me wonder how this could apply to churches.  For so long churches have operated (and many still do) under the assumption that a church is like a bottle of water.  People want to be a part of one and they will go find one.  They will sort through the options to find one that works best for them.  While this may have been true at one time, it is no longer reality by and large.  People who are not already Christian are simply not looking for a church.  We can’t continue to think like we have.

Instead I do believe we have to think like the “sold” products that Godin talks about…but maybe not with the same application.  As church leaders we do have to show the relevancy of our churches.  We do have to help people see that churches offer something they can’t find somewhere else.  Unless we do this we will not reach people.

The difference between selling a car and inviting someone to be a part of our church though is huge.  Sure we may need to use marketing to get the word out but the best way to let people know about our church (really about helping people to see how they can connect to life in Christ) is through our lives.  We are walking billboards to our faith.

But we dare not assume that display is enough.  Often it is not.  We need also to take the next step and be intentional about engaging with others.

Engage them with acts of kindness and grace.

Engage them in conversation centered around faith.

Engage them with love.

No we are not really selling anything.  But we have to remember that unless we are intentionally inviting others to taste and see that the Lord is good, they simply won’t.

We all have “insider lingo” for the tribes we run with. NO, not the loin cloth wearing tribe variety but the people you associate yourself with the most. The group whom you believe you are a part. No matter what group you belong to there is insider lingo.

On Saturday my Daughter had a Swim meet. It was at this meet that I learned the all to famous abbreviation for “Disqualified.” I heard someone talking about how their daughter “dq’d.” I thought I could really go for some Dairy Queen myself, but then I found out she was talking about her daughter being disqualified from an event because she didn’t touch with both hands at the turnaround.

Churches have insider lingo.

It could relate to the name. I saw a church named “Stone Mill Church” referring to themselves as “the stone.” I wonder if anyone besides those who goes there knew what they were talking about.

Growing up I would hear about the “narthex.” I always thought there was a breakout of some kind of virus until I realized they were talking about the lobby.

Even leaders in churches have their own special language. One that I have heard a lot in recent times is “process.” Usually it is used in a sentence like this:

“I need to process that so let me get back to you.”

I usually translate that to mean I don’t’ want to give you an answer right now so let me delay it.  Apparently “think” isn’t an acceptable word anymore to say you really need some time to think about it.

By far though my very favorite word that teacher/preacher types use is the word “unpack.” I used to use it before my wife broke me of that habit by mocking me relentlessly. Apparently no one but us preacher/teacher types think we are cool by using it. Usually it comes out like this:

“Let me unpack this passage for you.”

Apparently God packed the Bible like a suitcase.

I’m sure the very first person who used it thought it was a descriptive way to talk about explaining a Scripture passage. But it’s so overused now it is comical to me. I see it everywhere and it makes me think we preacher/teachers need to find a new word. Maybe we should just be direct in what we are saying. “I’m going to tell you what I think this passage is saying” and leave it at that.

And then we tried again but then sometimes the older kid makes it hard…

And then your wife says, why don’t you let me take the picture:

But when you place yourself in an environment where you can relax and have fun, the moments that turn into memories just happen naturally.

These photos were taken at Elephant Rocks State Park.  A favorite place for my family.  We have tons of great memories from there.    Lots of climbing, joking about the Elephant’s “crack” and a great view at the top!  Here are some more photos from our visit to Elephant Rocks.

“rather be a functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me.”

What he doesn’t understand is that our uniqueness is created to make us count for something.  God uses our uniqueness to contribute to His kingdom and cause serving someone beyond ourselves.  It’s our uniqueness that doesn’t just cause us to stand out, but provides the platform from which we make a difference.

I love how he ends the song with a longing to do something worthwhile which in his mind is something as simple as tending an orchard.

“If I had an orchard,
I’d work til I’m raw.
If I had an orchard,
I’d work til I’m sore.“

We don’t have to dwell in helplessness blues because God has created us to count.

I grew up with this image of Jesus as a really nice guy.  A guy who was rather anemic and placid looking.  Who never, shall we say, got up in someone’s crawl.

The parts of the Gospels where it was obvious Jesus was angry were kind of explained away.  For instance, where he clears out the Temple were talked about as if Jesus did it with this reserved anger…almost like he was going through the motions.  Here’s one of the recordings of this encounter:

13 When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14 In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. 15 So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. 16 To those who sold doves he said, “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!” 17 His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for your house will consume me. (Luke 2:13-17)

Let me ask you.  Does that sound like controlled and reserved anger?  Perhaps you were never given this image of Jesus but in this encounter “Zeal” for God’s house consumes Jesus and he unleashes his anger on those ripping people off.  Jesus with a whip…a whip of all things that He made…runs through the temple courts lashing out at those hawking doves for an inflated price and throwing tables out of his way.  That’s not an image of Jesus I was given.

Why?

I think a part of it has to do with an unspoken value of “niceness.”  We think niceness is a Jesus’ centric value.  I’m not sure that is true.  From the encounters I read about in Scripture he was considered merciful, forgiving, dangerous, unpredictable and shocking.  I’m not sure “nice” is a description overall we read about.

In fact what is most striking to me is that most people had one of two reactions to him:  loved him or hated him.

If you were an outcast, one on the fringes of society you would have loved Jesus.

If you were a religious leader you would have likely hated him.

It seems he didn’t leave much room for “middle of the road” responses, at least not for very long.

What about you?  How has your encounter with Jesus transformed over the years?

I received a few positive comments on an illustration I used Sunday so I thought I would write about it.

I was speaking on growing our capacity to TRUST God when we don’t understand the past and our next step is unclear.  Jeremiah gives us this beautiful picture of how a tree operates:

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.

They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7)

The remarkable thing about a tree is that it does NOT depend on external circumstances to feed itself.  By design, a tree doesn’t wait around for it to rain to get water.  Its roots are designed to dig deeper and deeper and reach farther and farther until they find water.  And a tree doesn’t wait until it needs water to look for it.  It prepares for dry seasons by seeking water when it doesn’t need it.

Oh the things we can learn:

• We must prepare for the dry seasons of our life.  I’m convinced no one gets burned out or runs dry in the hard times.  We just notice it then.  We actually were unprepared for that season.  We enjoy the good seasons so much we don’t prepare for the hard seasons.  Lesson:  no matter what the season brings don’t forget to keep feeding yourself spiritually.
• In times when our faith is being tested, learn from the tree and dig deeper.  While not easy or comfortable, a crisis of faith is the very opportunity we need to grow our faith.  Needing to trust God is the opportunity we need to grow our capacity to trust Him.  The simple truth is that we don’t grow when there is no need to grow.  We discover in these times that God’s strength is available to us in ways we never thought possible.  But you have to dig for it.  You have to search for it.

• force a peer or employee to walk on egg shells around you.  That’s never fun.
• diminish your influence because people can’t have confidence in you if you don’t have confidence in yourself.
• lessen how much people listen to you.
• make it harder to make a decision.
• confuse your voice with the voice of God.

I read a passage of Scripture recently that speaks to insecurity:

1 You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Psalm 139:1-6

One of the keys to doing battle with insecurity is to trust what God says about you over what you feel or think about yourself.  Another key is caring more about what God says and thinks about you than what others think.  I fall so easily into a trap of caring too much what others think.  Before I even know it I’m letting others’ thoughts and sometimes perceived thoughts about me guide my thinking and action.  A leader can’t allow that.  Here’s a verse from that same chapter of Psalm 139 that I am making my own:

How precious to me are your thoughts, God!

Psalm 139:17

May these thoughts about you from God give you the confidence to lead fearlessly.  And may you care more about what He thinks than anyone else.

The 5 Love Languanges by Gary Chapman
This book changed the way I looked at my wife.  I’ve used it to counsel dozens of couples and always recommend it as a must read for any couple getting married.

Boundaries by  Henry Cloud and John Townsend

The subtitle says it all:  When to say Yes, When to say No – to take control of your life.  This is a huge area for most relationships.

Integrity by Henry Cloud

My second book on the list by Henry Cloud. This guy is really smart.  The title doesn’t exactly give away what this book is about until you read his explanation for the title.  Not all the book is about relationships but the few sections that are make the book worth the cover price.  The most helpful part of this book is the section on establishing trust.  Specifically he talks about how to create connection with others.  That may sound boring but I’ve seen the lack of creating connection to be the source of may problems in relationships.

That’s my list.  What is yours?  What books and/or resources do you recommend on the subject of relationships?